The Call of Caffeinus

Deeply the bones ache and the muscles pant. Even the rest of the night watch does not supply sweet relief. The body strains under the Curse of Carbos. He has called forth the Diabolical Duke Diabetus in this Battle of Bulkage. They wage war against the members of my body and hold them hostage. I feel like a ship cast adrift upon the waters during the long days of summer, creaking and groaning. Parched from my travels and seeking a port to anchor in for rest. Caffeinus calls out to me, "Come to my well, and drink deeply my child!" May his Dew of the Mountain aid me in this tiresome battle.